She is wearing a light green colored dress and looked so beautiful to my eyes. I wrote few lines on her and sent it to her.
That was the first time I have sent a poem to her. I was so tensed about her reaction. After 2 hours of waiting, she replied.
“Wow nice. You write poems?”
I just replied. “Yes. Little bit.”
“It’s really nice. I actually like poetic expressions.”
“Really? Good. Thank you so much Vennela. Then you will like my poems more.”
“Because most of them I will be writing for you and on you.”
The few words that I hate most in conversations are “Hmmm”, “K”, “S” and words like that. It is because I never understand the exact meaning behind those replies.
When she replied “Hmmm.”, I did not know how to take it. Whether it’s like she misunderstood me or is it like she said yes for what I said. Whatever it may be, my intention is to convey her that she is the inspiration behind some of the poems which I am writing.
As days passed on, our relation started getting stronger from my end. Our conversations increased. It’s been almost 8 months that we started conversing. But, we never talked in phone till today. Even in office, we used to talk very less number of times. I used to be little scared and little shy to go to her and talk directly. But then I used to message her every now and then.
During these 8 months, sometimes she never used to reply for 2 or 3 days and sometimes even a week. But then I never got anger on her. I don’t know the reason behind it but one thing is true. Every time when she replies I used to feel happy that she replied to me and whenever she dint reply, I just use to say myself that she don’t know me completely and I just sent her a message getting her number without her notice. But, still she accepted it and started conversing with me. She doesn’t need to reply me and she don’t need to accept me. But then she did that and I should be thankful for that instead of thinking why she is not replying sometimes.
Frankly speaking, it used to hurt me a bit somewhere inside deep in my heart. But then I don’t have any other choice other than controlling and keeping it to myself. I cannot ask why she is not replying or I can never force her to reply me frequently. All I have to do is to just send a message and wait for her reply and that is what I am doing from last 10 months.
As days were moving, I understood one thing that. We can never force someone to be with us or talk with us. All we can do is to give time for them and just take it when they did it instead of trying to make them do things on force. I can ask her directly why is she not replying to my messages sometimes. But, according to me, that’s not a perfect way as it may inject a thought in her like why should she first of all reply me or talk to me. And if that kind of thought occurs in her mind, then I can never set the things back on track and so just used to wait for her no matter how long the waiting time is because I am afraid that if I do anything like that, I may lose what I have with me right now.
The more the happy I am when she looks at me, talks to me or replies me and the more sadden I am when she doesn’t reply.
Whenever she stays late in office, I used to remind her through messages to leave early. Even this I stopped after few times as I am again afraid that she may think that I am trying to control her. There is nothing wrong in caring her. But that care should not be too much such that they fall into uncomfortable zone. I started understanding about relations much better. According to me, when you really like or care someone, you have to let them be free like a bird in the nest and should not make them feel like a bird in the cage. Because, a bird in the nest, when given a chance to fly, will always come back to the nest. But the same is not with the bird in the cage. When a bird which is kept in the cage gets a chance to fly. There are very least chances that for it to come back. Being in relation with her, I have learnt a lot on how well we can care someone without hurting them. Doing this way may hurt us sometimes. But, that’s where the real challenge of maintaining a relationship lies in.
Every time whenever I used to receive an award or an appreciation, she used to be one among the priority people with whom I used to share the happiness with. Not just only that, I used to share with her anything I feel important in my life. I gave her lot of room in my life. It’s been almost a year that I first saw her and even till today I dint understand why am I attracted to her and why do I like her so much. I am still searching for answers for my questions.
As it is going this way, one day I have got a very big chance. A chance to see her playing volley ball. Till today I have never seen her doing anything other than work. And today, for the first time I am going to see her doing something that’s not related to work. She is going to be part of a women’s team for internal volley ball championship. That was the day I started liking her more and got attracted to her more. She drove her team so well that they won the game just because of her and she is declared as the Women of the Quarter.
@ “It doesn’t matter how we deal with ourselves. But, it always matters how we deal with others.”-Mr. Bond