I just smiled when she said those lines. We had conversation for almost 2 hours as we are meeting almost after a year. And, as usual I dropped her till her room and returned back to my hostel at around 11:30 in night.
As it was raining heavily, I kept my mobile inside my backpack and didn’t take it out till I reached hostel. After reaching hostel, I just took it out and saw calls that I missed from Nandini. And there were also some messages.
“Prudhvi. Hope you reached back safe. Message me once you are there.” – Nandini
I just pressed the CALL option and connected to her.
“Hey Prudhvi. Did you reach back safely?”
“Yes Nandini. Just now I reached.”
“Okay. Good. Talk to you later Prudhvi. Had good time speaking with you.”
“Me too Nandini. Stay in touch. Good night.”
“Good night Prudhvi.”
I just got up at my usual time, got ready and started to office. While I was walking to my station, as usual my eyes turned towards Vennela’s station. It was empty as she is on leave today. The moment it got recorded in my mind, I decided not to think about that and just go on with my tasks. I was actually eagerly waiting for the end of the day just to see will there be any difference when compared to other days.
(End of the day)
At the end of the day, I just began to re-wind myself on how the day went on. And the only difference I could feel is that the number of times my eyes looked at her station got reduced little bit and apart from that, I could feel no other difference.
Whenever she returns from home, she starts at 3 in the early morning catching the intercity express. It’s been 24 hours almost that we dint converse. I woke up at around 4.30 and messaged her.
“Good morning Vennela. Started back?”
I had to wait for about 40 mins for her reply. Finally I just received two characters from her.
For few seconds, I dint understand what to reply her. Whenever we wish someone, we wish whole heartedly and according to me that can be expressed by the way we wish. I don’t know why some people use corporate short cuts in personal life conversations which actually convey a wrong message. Whenever she replies short cuts, it hurts me a little bit but then will never convey this to her as accepting everything is the basic rule of a true relation.
“Got into train?”
“Ya. Woke up early?”
I was very excited to tell her that I woke up to wish her. But then backed off. I don’t know why but I never express anything to her openly and also I never tell her anything whatever I feel on her.
“Just like that Vennela.”
I was waiting for her reply and then slowly ran into sleep. When I woke up at 7 in the morning, I was actually expecting a reply from her. But then she did not reply anything. She does this quite sometimes. She suddenly stops replying sometimes between the conversations. And I never ask her why she is doing like that. I used to wait for hours for her reply but then never used to ask her the reason. This is because I feel like the moment I ask her for explanations, I am afraid how she is going to take that and react to that. No matter how much time I have to wait and no matter how much pain I have to take, I just used to take it and keep it inside me without questioning anything on why she is doing that way.
Relations are more beautiful and meaningful when we know how to maintain them. The more we start expecting from other or the more we start questioning others, the more we start damaging the relation. We have to trust other and give freedom to others in such a way that even though they decide to leave, we have to accept it and allow them to leave. Because, we cannot maintain a relation in force. It is a feel that others should have in them and when they think they don’t have that in them and wanted to leave, we have to let them move away instead of holding them back. I know it’s too hard in most of the cases, but then that’s the ultimate way of caring others. Our love or care should not be a burden to them and should not be like we are forcing them.
I never used to force her for anything or ask her any question as I was afraid how she is going to take. I like her a lot and I want her relation. And for that I am ready to take any amount of pain.
“Hey Vennela. You too registered for the AIS training?”
I sent her a message when I saw the list of employees who registered for the training that is scheduled for the next two days at the other office which is 30 kms away from here.
“Yes Prudhvi. How did you know?”
“Even I registered. I got a mail from them on the timings and venue details. And in that list of people, even your name was also there.”
That was the first time I asked her something.
“Vennela. Can I ask you one thing?”
“Can I join with you tomorrow morning?”
“To the training venue?”
“Sure Prudhvi. You can.”
“Wow. Thank you so much Vennela.”
“Hachcho. What’s there to thank in this.”
“I don’t know Vennela. I just felt happy and so said thanks to you.”
“Okay. What time you will start in the morning?”
“Okay. Message me once you got up.”
“Okay Prudhvi. Sure.”
That was the first chance I got to travel with her and spend some time with her. I was preparing a lot what to talk, how to talk and such things. I thought of telling everything that I feel on her and make her understand how important she is to me.
(Next day morning)
We both met each other at bus bay and got into bus. I sat next to her. When we got settled, I slowly started conversing with her.
“Vennela. I don’t know why but then whenever I see you, I forget everything that I plan to speak with you.”
She dint reply anything to that and just smiled at me. I cracked little jokes, made some fun and made her laugh during the entire journey.
While she was smiling for my lines, I was looking at her without even closing my eye lids.
“Hey. What are you looking at?”
“Your smile Vennela. That’s where everything started.”
“I mean. Your smile is what I like most in you.”
Even though it took 70 mins to reach destination, I dint feel the time at all. During the entire journey, she is continuously smiling.
@ “In Life, some moments make us Smile, some moments make us cry, some moments make us think. But, only very few moments leave us blank without words.” – Mr. Venky Bond