(6 weeks later)
It is the day where most of the employees in the office are so eager about the list that is going to get released by the HR team. It is the list for which people wait days, months and years expecting their name on it. It is the list for which people work extending their time, sacrificing their leaves sometimes and sometimes sacrificing their personal life. It is the list that is going to be released by the HR. This list is released twice a year.
When the list was out, some started celebrating, some started feeling sad and some started thinking of their next steps. I jumped out of joy when I saw her name on the list. May be I am feeling more happy than her. The way she works, the dedication, commitment she shows towards the job, made me wish that she should be on that list. And when that came true, my happiness broke the boundaries
As soon as that news was out, I immediately sent her a text.
“When we are putting our efforts, we should not be thinking of success. But, when the success reaches us, we should not be just let it go away. We have to call if for a celebration. Hearty congratulations Vennela. I am so happy.”
“Thank you so much Prudhvi. I have never expected that my name will be on the list.”
“Hmm… Hey.. Can I ask you one thing?”
“Thursday morning temple… Please. I guess this is an occasion to visit it?”
This time, my happiness doubled, tripled and so on. I actually never go to temples and even if I had to go, I never step inside. But, I have to break my rules and I have no other choice. I don’t know whether I am completely changing myself for her. But, one thing is true; I like her so much that I am ready to do anything and everything for her and her smile.
The previous night, I hardly slept for 3 hours. I was so excited that I am going out with Vennela for the first time. The previous time when we were out, it is for training. But, this time, it’s just we both. I was extremely happy for that.
“Vennela. Just tell me when you get ready, I will start from here.”
“07:30 you start Prudhvi.”
I got ready and wore the new dress which I had purchased for her birthday and reached there by 07:00 and was waiting for her. After she came, I requested that we shall go by walk as the temple is not so far.
We both were walking together talking about her promotion and next plans. I was enjoying every moment that I was walking with her. After we entered inside the temple, she started explaining me about each idle but then all I was doing is just looking at her when she was praying to each idle. I don’t know why but I was feeling so happy inside and my heart was filled with joy looking at her. She looked so beautiful that day and her smile arrested me as like always.
After we came out of temple, we reached office and decided to have breakfast together. When her order came, she got up to get it. In that time, I arranged all the gifts on the table. I don’t know whether I will get any perfect moment than that and so immediately took out the gifts from my bag and arranged on the table.
“Hey Prudhvi. What are all these packs?”
“Vennela. I bought you a gift for your birthday but then don’t know why I dint give it to you. But then today it sounded like a perfect occasion for me to do that.”
“Here is the lucky watch that holds your hand and keeps reminding you to step out of office early. This is for your birthday. And this one is for your promotion and this is your favorite chocolate.”
“Thank you so much Prudhvi. I have never expected this.”
That day was the most memorable day of my life. I had spent almost 3 hours with her looking at her smiles and walking next to her. I had never thought that such a kind of day will ever come. I was extremely happy. I felt like dancing right on the floor.
(One month later)
I travelled to my home town after almost 2 months. This time, I am travelling to celebrate my birthday. Every year, no matter wherever I am, I make sure that I celebrate my birthday at home with my parents and my friends. I reached home just before the day of my birthday.
As like every year, my friends arranged cake cut at mid night. This time, to my surprise, they have arranged it on my roof top. At exactly midnight, everyone started wishing me and then we continued it with cake cut. We had spent almost 2 hours in that midnight. All were in full party mood but then I was looking at my mobile now and then. No one has noticed that I was peeping at my mobile very often. I was expecting a call or message from Vennela. Many people called and messaged me, wishing me. But then I don’t know why, I dint feel it complete. I was expected a wish from Vennela. I don’t know whether she remembered my birthday or not.
The waiting continued till 04:00PM. As the day is going to end, I was not able to control the pain that it is creating in me. Every beep my mobile sounds and every noise that the environment makes, I used to think that I received a message from her. But then when I look at the mobile, it is not Vennela. I began to understand how deep it hurts when the people we expect to wish forgets to do that.
I was not able to wait anymore. I did not know whether what I am doing is right or wrong. I took my mobile and sent her a message.
“Hey. Where are you? I am starting early to home. I was looking at your station and you were not there.”
“I am at home town Vennela.”
“Home town? When did you go?”
“Yesterday I reached.”
“You dint even tell me. I thought you might have been to other location. Okay. Why did you go all of a sudden?”
“It’s my birthday Vennela.”
“Oh. I am really sorry. Really really sorry. Happy birthday.”
I was expecting a lot from her from the midnight. But then she dint wish me. And then when I myself reminded her about my birthday, all she did is wished me using two words. “Happy Birthday.”
This time, I got hurt more than before. Then I slowly realized that it’s the expectations of people on others which hurt them. It’s my mistake that I expected a lot from her. She never promised me that she will wish me. It’s me who was expecting from her. Expectations are good when they turn reality. But, when they dint turn out, we get hurt and it pains so deep inside the heart.
(6 weeks later)
I was called for a meeting with my manager. My team lead informed me that I had to attend one on one meeting with my manager.
“Rahul. May I come in?”
“Yes Prudhvi. Come in.”
“Take your seat.”
“Thank you Rahul.”
“Rahul, what is this meeting all about?”
“Prudhvi. You have been working in the team from almost 2 years. And your progress is excellent. Even our clients at onshore is very much impressed with your work.”
“Thank you so much Rahul. It’s my duty and my responsibility.”
“Yes. And you have done it so well. And so we have a proposal for you.”
“What is it Rahul?”
“We are planning to send you to onshore location for a period of 18 months.”
“You mean Australia?”
“I know you have told me long back that you don’t want to work at onshore locations. But then try to understand what I say Prudhvi. This is an excellent opportunity for you and your career.”
“Rahul, I know, and I am excited to hear this. Thank you very much. But then I am really sorry to say NO. I am not at all interested in working out.”
“Take time Prudhvi. Think and let me know.”
We had discussion for about 40 mins where Rahul is trying all ways to convince me for the onshore opportunity.
For about one complete week, I have been thinking on the same thing. I don’t know why I am thinking so much on this. I went home that week to discuss this mom and dad. All they said is its all my wish and the final decision will be mine. There are so many things running in my mind. I cannot just leave everything and go but then opportunities won’t knock the door when we want. They knock only once and just once. And at the time, if we keep delaying, we cannot get back it. I have not informed this to Vennela yet. It’s been almost 3 weeks that we both had conversation. After my birthday, I haven’t sent a message to her.
After thinking for about 10 days and talks with my parents regarding the onshore opportunity, I informed my manager that I am ready to take this up.
As soon as I said this, he immediately started my VISA processing and other initiatives. I was completely busy for 2 weeks with all the process and transfer formalities. When it was almost confirmed that I will be leaving in the next 30 days, I started informing to my friends and relatives.
During this period, even though I was busy with the planning and process, each minute one more thought used to run in my mind, Vennela. After I go there, I don’t know at what times I will be working and whether I will have access to internal communications. I did not know how to stay in touch with her and first of all I am not sure whether she will be in touch with me. The one fact that hurts me a lot is that I am going to miss her. I will be missing her so much that I am not able to imagine or explain. I will be coming back only after 18 months and I am not sure how things will change during that period. Right now I cannot do anything. I cannot stay back here for her as I am not sure what happens next in our relation and also I cannot flyaway as I am very much sure that I will be missing her. For now, I decided to inform her about my opportunity.
“Vennela… are you free?”
I don’t know why, I always send only message to her. I never pick up my phone and call her. I don’t get words to talk with her even in phone or directly. I don’t know whether its fear or something else. And so, I always only text her. She replied me after few minutes.
“Yes Prudhvi. Tell me.”
“I want to tell you one thing.”
“I have got onsite opportunity and all the formalities are done.”
“What? When all this happened? You never informed me.”
“I thought to inform once it is confirmed.”
“Congratulations Prudhvi. When will you fly?”
“In the next 15 days.”
“What? Just two more weeks?”
I don’t know why but then I have decided to ask one thing to her that day.
“Ya. My name is Vennela.”
“Can I ask you one thing?”
“Did I ever make u smile?”
“Ya many times.”
“Prudhvi. You made me smile many times. And especially the message that you have sent during my promotion and when our team has won volley ball championship, I really felt so confident and happy. Thank you lot for that.”
“Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Sure. Why do you need permission for everything?”
“Please keep smiling. All I liked in you is your smile.”
She just replied with a smile. I was not knowing how to explain her the battle that is running inside my heart. I wanted to explain her how important she is to me. But then every time I am stepping back.
@ “U are the rays of SUN in my every morning, U r the cool breeze of my every evening, u r the twinkling star when I look at the sky… u r the lightening moon when I walk in the dark….. U r everything in the world I live.” – Mr. Venky Bond