“I quiT” – Episode @29

I would have stayed for some more days if I am happy at my work. But, I don’t think a day like that will ever come. These people will never see people as people. And they don’t even have a little concern even though we are women’s.

(07:17 PM, Bangalore City Rly Station)

After hearing the reason from Uthrani, both Ramya and Ishanth turned silent. Even though it is a rush railway platform, the entire environment appeared silent for three of them. For a moment, Ishanth and Ramya started thinking about their own personal life’s and the job they are doing.

When Uthrani noticed that they both are running deep into their own thoughts, she started speaking out to break the silence.

“Hey Ishanth and Ramya, please don’t think much about this. I am now happy with my decision. I can support mom being at home and my dad also need not worry much about me as I will be right before them at home. I am also happy that I came till her. I never imagined I could even finish my graduation. I did that and also I was able to run for 2 years. Even though there is a slight annoyance that I am not able to continue, I am happy with my journey till now. The other thing that makes me so happy is that I don’t need to run late nights from office, I don’t need to wake up early morning. I don’t need to wait for weekends to unwind. And especially I don’t need to get scolding’s from those idiots.” said Uthrani and started smiling a little.

Even though she is not getting smile, she tried hard to put a little smile on her face so that Ishanth and Ramya will come back to normal.

When they saw Uthrani smiling, Ramya also started smiling saying “Yeah. Yes Uthrani. You are a free bird. Be happy and keep smiling.”

“Sure Ramya, you also take care of your health and eat on time. Now I will not be there to wake you up and remember you every time to eat. Ishanth, you also go for lunch on time and also don’t become serious about people. Take care of Meher. Now, Quadhar and Thyagarajan’s focus will be shifted on Meher.” Uthrani gave them all the instructions and spoke about all the memories she had with Ramya and Ishanth.

(07:28 PM)

Even Ramya and Ishanth started smiling and laughing remembering the moments they spent with her. As they were talking happily, Ishanth heard the train sound and then immediately looked at his watch.

“Hey Uthrani, get inside. It’s time for the train to start. “ Said Ishanth and made her get in the train. Even he got inside and accompanied her till her seat. When Uthrani heard the train horn for the second time, she forced Ishanth to get down.

After he got off, the train started moving slowly. Uthrani started waving her hands at Ishanth and Ramya. And they both did the same thing. As the train started moving, the smile on Uthrani’s face started fading away and slowly tears started rolling down from her eyes. And the same thing happened with Ramya. She stopped waving her hands and staring at Uthrani, even she started weeping like a baby.

Ishanth observed Ramya and when the train left the platform, he said “Hey Ramya. She is just crossing two states that’s it. Don’t cry like a little child. See how everyone is looking at you. Come, wipe your tears. Let’s go. I will drop you at your flat. Okay.”

(11:00 AM, Monday)

By the time Ishanth reached office, Meher got himself busy with his work. Meher used to have a little tougher time in office without Uthrani. When Uthrani was there, she used to help him a lot clearing all his doubts. And so when she is not there, he started depending on Ishanth and other team mates whenever he got stuck with anything in his oeuvre.

Even though Ishanth and Uthrani don’t talk much in the office during work hours, they both regularly go for the evening tea break. During the initial days, he used to take Meher and go for the tea break in the evenings. As Meher got busy, sometimes he used to say NO when Ishanth asked him to come out for breaks and so slowly Ishanth stopped going for breaks in the evenings.

As Quadhar also got busy with his new project docs preparation and also his job hunt, he also stopped interacting much with Ishanth and Meher. If there is anything to inform them, he used to just send them a mail detailing the information.

The office environment turned little silent after Uthrani resigned and also everyone got busy with their own projects.

(11:00 AM, After 1 week)

As it was going that way, a new resource is on-boarded into the project. Quadhar setup a small meeting and called the entire team to introduce her to the team mates. Everyone gathered in the meeting room.

Quadhar started the meeting with his words. “Hi all, Good Evening.”

“Good evening Quadhar. why did you call us all of a sudden.” Asked Meher very eagerly. That was the first official meeting after 2 weeks. The last time the entire team met on the last day of Thyagarajan’s Bengaluru official trip.

“A new manager will be joining our team. This meeting is to introduce her to the entire team.”

“What? New Manager? Thyagarajan is our manager right?” one of them questioned Quadhar.

“Thyagarajan will remain as our Senior Manager. As he is working out of Pune, he appointed a new manager who will work from Bengaluru location. We worked on a demo project last month right. Clients accepted that officially and very shortly we will be receiving the first phase requirements.”

“Quadhar, why all of a sudden a new manager for us?” asked Ishanth.

“I don’t know all that Ishanth. Thyagarajan informed me that she will be taking the entire responsibility of Bengaluru location and also the project which got approved by the clients.”

“She? You mean a lady manager?”

As they were discussing about the new manager, one lady started knocking the meeting room door. When Quadhar heard that, he turned back and opened the door.

“Hi, I was invited to this meeting room. I am the new manager who will work for Thyagarajan’s Bengaluru team.”

“Oh. Welcome. I am Quadhar. We all are waiting for you.”

“Oh. I am so sorry for keeping you all waiting. Good evening all of you. I am Ishwarya. I will be your new manager for this location.”

@Manager

Guess the story: Is she the next person in the story who is going to resign?

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“I quiT” – Episode @28

And, when I had to stay back for one extra day as my brothers engagement was fixed all of a sudden, I called Quadhar and informed. He listened to me and said ok. I felt good for that.

That day afternoon, I got a message to my mobile from an unknown number.”

(06:45 PM, Bangalore City Rly Station)

“Please call me back”.

I actually received that message one hour before. But, as I was busy with the function at home, I dint check it right away. And when I saw that, I immediately called back to that number.

“Hello. Who is this?”  – Uthrani

“Uthrani. This is Thyagarajan.”

“Hi Thyagarajan. Sorry. I don’t have your number and so couldn’t recognize you. Sorry.”

“That’s alright. Where are you?”

“Thyagarajan, I am in my home town.”

“Are you not coming to the office today?”

“No Thyagarajan. I have informed Quadhar of this in the morning.”

“Whom are you reporting to?” Thyagarajan asked me with a very strong tone. I was not able to understand with what intentions he asked me such a question. I did not know what to answer him.

After waiting for a few seconds and preparing myself, I replied “Thyagarajan. I am reporting to you.”

“Then whom should you inform regarding your leave request?”

I started getting tense with this second question. But, as I have to answer him, I did. “You Thyagarajan.”

“Then why are you saying that you informed Quadhar.”

“Thyagarajan. Quadhar is our team lead and he is the one who is allocating tasks to us and so I informed him.”

“Uthrani. You are not a junior to teach everything. Team leader is different from the person whom you are reporting. The team leader is the person who will allocate your tasks. That’s it. But, all other things you have to get in touch with your reporting manager. I don’t think I should teach you all these things. And the other most important thing is that. We are in a crucial period. We have to demo to our clients next week and now if the team goes for a vacation, how do you think we can go ahead as per the schedule.”

I was completely silent with that kind of response from him. I never expected such a response from him. I applied for leave one month earlier and that too I planned a vacation for just 3 days after 4 months gap. And yet he reacted that way. I was totally upset with his answer. Just to keep the conversation up, I replied him “Thyagarajan. 2 months back when you visited Bengaluru, you said that Quadhar will be our team lead and will take care of all of us. And so I informed him.”

“Yes, Take care I meant project related activities. Remember that I am your official reporting manager.”

Every reply from him is making me more and more sad and angry at him. I wanted to fight back with answers. But, considering the kind of replies he is giving, I decided to pull it down at some point before I break out completely. “Sorry Thyagarajan. As he is our Team Lead, I thought I should inform him and so called him and informed.”

“Uthrani, it doesn’t look good if you go for leave during a crucial period like this. I never thought you would be so irresponsible. I hope this will not be repeated next time. You have to plan your vacations not in these kinds of periods. I heard that you just submitted your code to the QA without performing Unit Testing. That is a very unhealthy practice. It will give way to lots of bugs from the testing team which will ultimately result in the decrease of the QA ratings. You are not at a stage to learn all these now. You crossed 2 years. You should be mindful of all these things.”

The whole conversation went on the same path. He is trying to dominate with just two points. And so I just remained silent without replying him back. The conversation went on for almost 15 minutes. And at the end, he said that “Hope I can see you back in the office by Wednesday morning” and disconnected the call.

After the call, I locked myself in the room and sat idle for about 30 minutes and was crying incessantly. I do not know what to do. I cannot share this with anyone. I saved this for myself and was crying like a child. Every word he spoke hurt me very badly. He was the one who said that Quadhar will be our team lead and we have to reach Quadhar for any kind of information and so I informed him. I also said Quadhar to inform Thyagarajan. He said that Thyagarajan approved. I did not understand whom to blame. That was not the first time either. He scolded many times. But, that day I can never forget. And especially the way he talked. For one moment I felt like why I am working baring all his words. From last four months I dint take any leave. I worked late nights many days and also almost 3 to 4 weekends I spent my time at the office working on the project. In the last 8 months, all my code was 95% QA average. I was the one who completes the task even before the time. Even when my mom came, I used to stay late nights because I am committed to the work I do.

When things go fine, he won’t say anything and when something goes wrong little bit, he fires back. I don’t know what rights he has to scold the employees.

All these thoughts, I kept within myself. I’ve never really shared it with anyone. If my family members will know this; they will immediately stop me from doing my job. I dint even share with my mom because she is the only one who supports me for doing a job and now if she saw me feeling bad, she will also turn against my decision. And so I was not yet in a position to deal with anyone. I kept everything within myself. It was so incredibly painful. Every word, every question, every answer from him disturbed me a lot.”

Uthrani explained her pain to Ishanth and Ramya. Both of them had no words to reply to Uthrani. They were just staring at her. After a minute, Ishanth replied.

“So Uthrani that is the reason you took this decision?” – Ishanth.

“Not exactly Ishanth. After that day, the next day I started from home. As I got tickets for break journey, I had to travel till Mumbai and then from there I had to catch another train to Pune. My mom and my brother accompanied me till Mumbai. After we reached Mumbai, we were waiting in the waiting hall for my next train. I and mom were talking about my family. All of a sudden, my mom raised topic about my job.”

“Uthrani beti, you are happy with your job right?”

“Why are you asking like that mom?”

“Uthrani, you know right. None of our family members agreed when you said you will go for job. Even dad dint agree. But, I made them agree for this. After you joined, many times discussion came in home regarding the same.  In situations like that, it was very tough for me to make them calm down. I used to make them calm so that they won’t discuss that with you over the phone or when you come home. It was all going fine Uthrani. But from recent times, it is getting tougher and tougher especially from the time of your marriage discussion. But, I don’t think I can stop it anymore Uthrani. Some or the other day you have to get married and when that day comes, I cannot make your husband’s family agree for this. Hope you understand. I thought of telling you all these when I came to Bengaluru. But, you were getting late at office and so I dint trouble you. Apart from all these, when I was in Bengaluru, one day you came from office at midnight. You looked very much afraid and tensed. You were continuously looking back till you came inside the home and even after coming inside, you were frequently looking out through the window. I thought of asking you what happened. But, I know that you will share with me if there is anything and also I thought not to disturb you more as you were already tired at office. The next day when I had casual talks with neighbors, I came to know that the area is not so good for women, especially at midnight. And also many incidents happened in that area.”

My mom explained everything that is happening at home. She never spoke about all those in these 2 years. When I noticed that she came to know about the area we are living, I tried to convince her saying that there is nothing like that.

“Mom, there is nothing like that. Everything is fine. Long back few incidents happened. But, now it’s all fine.”

“Uthrani. I trust you and so I dint discuss that with you till now. But, I am only afraid that if something goes wrong, I cannot answer our family as I was the only one who supported you when you said that you are interested in going for job. Even though you worked late nights, you never looked much tired and used to go back early morning the next day. So, I understood that you are dedicated and also very much interested in what you are doing. Beta, I am fine as long as you are happy with your life. I will do my best to stop our family as long as possible.”

When she said those words, she almost cried hugging me. And, even I was not able to control myself. Tears came down running. When the train arrived, I got inside. The only thing that was running in my mind is the discussion happened between me and my mom. To be frank, my mom is pushing my family members so hard. She is doing it, right from my graduation. I thought it’s not fair for me to make her face those situations just because of me. And, on the other side, even I was not happy at my job because of these guys who always cares about their projects, deadlines and clients. They are never concerned about the person who is completing the task. They are worried only about the task. All they need is the completion of task and are never bothered about the person behind it. The whole thing was running in my mind continuously for 4 hours. And then finally I took this decision. My family is not happy with my job; my mom had to face tough situations at home. And even I am not happy working and so I took this decision.

I dint share this with anyone because I don’t want people to start giving me suggestions or advices saying that be strong, problems will come, you have to face them being bold and all those things to lift my confidence levels. But, this is nothing like that. This is a pain which only I know how much it is hurting and how much it is disturbing. Yes, there are so many people who are working despite of the situations like this. But, I can say only one thing. Only that person will know how much it hurts when you are facing problems like this. I would have continued for some more days if I am happy at my work. But, I don’t think a day like that will ever come. These people will never see people as people. And they don’t even have a little concern even though we are women’s.

@Twist

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“IquiT” – Episode @27

(06:30 PM, Bangalore City Rly Station)

“What is that Uthrani? What happened?”

“Ishanth. Marriage is not the main reason behind my resignation.”Said Uthrani. Before Ishanth replied, tears started rolling out from her eyes.

Uthrani is unable to control her tears. She started weeping like a child keeping her head down.When her flat mate Ramya saw this, she went up to her, sat next to her and put her hands on Uthrani’s shoulder and “Hey Uthrani, what happened? Why are you crying?” asked Ramya to Uthrani.

Ishanth also added his words. “What happened Uthrani? Speak out.”

Both Ishanth and Ramya are getting tensed about what might have happened to Uthrani. They both were trying hard to stop her from crying.

“Uthrani, lift your head up, come on speak out. What happened? Please stop crying Uthrani. Please.” Said Ramya trying to wipe her tears.

“Hey Uthrani. Please tell me. What’s the real reason behind your resignation?” – Ishanth.

“Uthrani. I know very well about you from last 2 years. I know how much dedication you have towards your job and how much interested you are in this job. But then suddenly after coming back from home when you said that you are leaving the job and going back to Gurgaon as your marriage got fixed, I got a little bit shocked. But I trusted you because you will not go away until you have some strong reason behind this.In the last ten days, so many times I thought of asking you the same question which Ishanth asked. But, I don’t want to disturb you more as I knew that if there is something to share, you would definitely share it. Now, you have to tell us Uthrani.” asked Ramya wiping Uthrani’s tears.

“Yes Uthrani, you have to tell us the truth” added Ishanth.

Uthrani lifted her head up, wiped off her tears and decided to speak out and tell both of them the actual reason behind her resignation.

“Ishanth and Ramya. What to tell you guys? If I tell this reason, everyone will say that I am not strong, I don’t know how to balance and so I took this decision. And so I never shared this with any one till today.But now I will tell you both why I had to take this decision. We are basically from a middle income group. We live in a small town with all our relatives nearby like a combined class.I am the youngest girl child among them. I studied till +2 in my town. And then when I wanted to try for higher studies,most of my relatives rejected. Even my dad was not interested in sending me to the town for pursuing graduation. But, my mom stood by me and answered all of them. She made them to agree and then finally I finished my graduation.The next bigger thing is my job. I never told anyone, even my dad that I was attending interviews. For even attending the interview, I had to lie to all of them. I attended the interview secretly. And then one day, I got an offer letter from our company. I felt exceedingly happy.I was the first girl in my class to complete graduation and also I will be the first girl to accept a job. But, I know very well that none of them will agree to this. And so I dint even say to my mom. I looked dull from that day. My mom noticed this and one day night she asked me what happened. I told her that I got selected and also received joining letter from the company. Even though she felt happy when she heard this, she started getting tensed as she also knew that my dad and also my family won’t let me to do this job.

She finally dared to talk to my dad and went and talked to my dad.He immediately said NO without even listening completely.But my mom dint leave. She began asking him continuously to make him agree to this.And then after two days, he concurred.But still, I was not completely relaxed as I knew that the next toughest part is to make my family members agree to this. My mom and dad had to sit one whole day to explain them and make them agree to this. After all those struggles, I finally landed in Bengaluru 2 years back fulfilling all my dreams. Doing a job and supporting my family is my dream. And so I always loved working no matter how much time I had to extend and how many weekends I had to spend in the office.

It was all very good in the first one year. But then after that, it was little tough to extend the timings and stretch ourselves every day and every weekend. I began to lose interest when they used to call almost all the weekends. I still dint complain about that as I am also so much interested in working. When coming to my flat, even though I know that the area is not good, I had to take flat there as I don’t have any other choice. I cannot pay huge amounts for hostels and so I was staying with Ramya and all in that area as the rents are little low when compared to others.Whenever I planned to go home, I never used to get approval for my leave requests as I used to apply for a minimum of 4 to 5 days because half of the days will be killed in travelling itself. When my family members used to ask my mom and dad why I am not coming home for festivals and all, my mom used to answer them saying that train tickets are not available and also I will get sick of going.All that is fine with me.But, when my mom came to pick me up from a very long distance, I had to leave her alone and sit late nights at the office working for those people.I had to keep her starving until I get back to my flat. I had to make her wait all the day. I felt uneasy with that. But my mom never complained anything as she knew how much interested I am in working.

When my dad said that he cannot come to take back mom, I was tensed so much whether they will grant me leave or not. If they don’t, then I had to send my mom alone. Thank god they accepted my leave and I accompanied my mom.I went to my home town after 4 long months. I spent time with all my family members, purchased dresses for my aunts and uncles and gifts for the children. I felt so happy for that.And, when I had to stay back for one extra day as my brothers engagement was fixed all of a sudden, I called Quadhar and informed. He listened to me and said ok. I felt good for that.

That day afternoon, I got a message to my mobile from an unknown number.

@Graduation

Guess the story: From whom did Uthrani recieve that message?

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